Goodbye my friend…

Posted: November 4, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I was going to write a post last night about how well things were going. About how my symptoms were improving, even to the point of not having taken any painkillers for days. And how much I was enjoying work and moving around doing different jobs.

(NOTE: Sorry if I keep changing tenses and point of view in this post, deal with it.)

One of our dogs died yesterday.

On my son’s third birthday.

Brothers, Tyson completely black (but now with a wise grey tinge down his front) and Khan, black and white, old but still thinking he was a pup. Tyson has always been the dominant alpha, barging his way through doorways first, when food goes down he has to start first. And Khan, more than happy to roll onto his back, paws in the air as if to say “you win”.

My wife got them both sometime in 2000. We never knew their birthday so we’ve never known exactly how old they are. We can only guess they are about 12 maybe 13. A “good age”.

Just before summer Khan developed a small lump on his front left leg. Because of his age we were told it would be nothing to worry about. It’d just be a fatty lump and if it wasn’t bothering him and unless it grew suddenly then it could be left…

In the last couple of weeks it did suddenly swell to the size of boxers fist, and it was obviously irritating him since he started chewing on it. On Monday night while I was at work he’d gone and chewed it that much that he’d bled all over the lounge. By the time I’d got home it had all settled down though.

I rang the vets first thing Tuesday and had him booked in for a consult for the following day, but again, while I was at work he bled, and again, by the time I got home it had settled. I’d stopped by my mother-in-laws on the way back from work to pick up a “cone” in an effort to stop him agitating it anymore.

I did my usual “wind down” and played on the xbox for an hour or so. I’d just got a fresh (decaf) coffee and settled into the last multiplayer match I was going to play that night when about mid way through I heard an odd sloppy noise. I turned around to find the texas chainsaw massacre had paid a visit.

It took me two hours to sort him out and clean up. I even had to wake my wife because I still haven’t generated that useful third arm.

The trip to the vets was a predictable affair. And an op to remove the lump was scheduled for the next day at 10am. (And yes between the two visits he bled a bit more)

So there we were with the veterinary nurse, going through various options of blood tests, IV fluids, post op tests… I turned round and said “he’s my best friend, I can’t skimp on my best mate, do the lot…”

I was happy that things were going to go to plan but as I got beyond the doorway, the door closing behind me, I turned and stuck my foot in the door. I had just had the most horrendous vision, worse than anything I had actually seen that week.

I went back and gave him a proper fuss. It was as if I knew then that I wouldn’t be seeing him again.

I was in the shower when the call from the vets came through. Stood there, naked and dripping wet and holding my wife while we both roared…

I then got dressed, put on my brave face and went to work. It was the hardest day at work ever but I did remain composed. When I got home I continued to blubber uncontrollably.

James (my now three year old son) keeps asking “when is Khan coming home? I’m worried about him” and Tyson has now stopped darting round the house looking for his brother but has taken to laying in direct line of sight to the front door and staring.

Last night when I went to feed Tyson, I caught myself filling the scoop to fill Khan’s bowl. Tyson will always wait for the second bowl to go down before launching into his own. We sat and looked at each other for a moment and then it took some real encouragement to get him to tuck in.

I’ve still not picked up his bowl.


Khan... Loving, faithful, dependable, friend.

You will be sorely missed, buddy.

  1. Les James says:

    So sorry for you

    Take care and know that he loved life with you.

  2. Helen says:

    Hi I really feel for you as we have just had to put our 15 year old to peace after a long illness it became obvious withher continual shaking that her life was not of any quality and the vet said even though we had already come to the conclusion that she would not let her leave in that condition.
    Unfortunatley later in the day my husband had to take my mother in laws dog to the vets which came to the same end. It was our Nieces 13th birthday.
    We find ourselves doing similar things like going to let her out etc this was 3 weeks ago and it still hurts. We had 3 dogs and she was the last serviving, we lost all 3 in 5 years. I lost my grandmother 2 weeks to the day before our Fudge and it might sound awful but I think loosing her was worse than my nan.
    I know from previous experience it gets better and our 5 year old twins now say that all the dogs are playing in a big field in heaven with Nanna. My thoughts are with you and your family. Helen

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