Whoops…

Posted: June 21, 2011 in Uncategorized

…it’s not that I’ve forgotten to write. I just honestly had nothing to write about. But in the last month, that has all changed.

It’s a lot for my mind to process into something vaguely comprehensible but I’m going to try to put it in order and in some form of sensible format.

As I’ve previously mentioned I lost my last job back in September/October last year and after over 200 applications (with almost zero responses) I am now finally in work. It’s nothing guaranteed yet since I’m on a paid trial through an agency but so far so good.

For what they’re asking the pay could be better, it’s not the easiest place in the world to commute to and being a new site there a still a lot of complications that need ironing out but (for the most part) the guys I work with are absolute gems. With certain exceptions there is no judgementalism since everyone has their own story of where and how they got to working there…

…but I haven’t been entirely honest with the management or even with myself. It’s physical work, on my feet all day with a minimal break and the pressures of meeting targets. And after three weeks, now into the fourth, I’m really starting to feel it again. The last couple of nights I’ve gone straight to sleep on the sofa when I’ve got in and today I really felt the pressure building in my knees. The heat on the fourth floor is at times unbearable and quite a few “healthy” people have feinted and today I kept going dizzy and God only knows what my heart was doing.

But to be honest that’s not what’s bothering me…

[edited for privacy reasons]…one of my friends is in some trouble. It’s not something I’m going to go into specifics about over the web but I feel unable to help. Even though I have come up with plausible solutions the implementation of them all falls down to my friend.

From an outsiders perspective the solutions are a logical choice and yet there is something holding my friend back from making that logical decision. I am worried, and for now that is all I can say but it is plaguing my mind. I am afraid that something will happen that I will be powerless to stop and yet I would feel somehow responsible.

My pain at this point is insignificant in comparison to what they are going through and if there was a way to take that away I would do everything I could.

I’m sure I’ll fill this out with more info eventually but for now I’ve got it out my head…

…sort of.

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