What the hell was that!?!

Posted: July 2, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

So, erm, well….

I guess I should start at the beginning of Wednesday and try to keep it in order without going of on one. Try being the operative word…

So following the previous entry I was in pain and I’d been up since about 4am. I’d come to the decision that I would prepare for the meeting with HR in the afternoon by writing a few notes:

1. At the previous HR meeting it was discussed that until reasonable adjustments were put in place my sickness absence would not be monitored. So why are we here?

2. How did HR get details from Occupational Health about my appointment details without my consent?

3. Why has it been 6 months and still no reasonable adjustments? And what is xxxworknamexxx’s definition of “reasonable”?

I went to work doped to the eyeballs on caffeine and pain killers (possibly a little too much of both) and began the struggle through what would have been difficult on the best of days.

Because I knew I was at two separate meetings I went into work an hour early to make sure everything that needed doing got done. But by 10 o’clock I felt myself coming down, and fast.

My meeting with my union was at 11 and it wasn’t straight forward. My usual rep had been called to deal with another matter and so I had to explain the whole situation again to someone new. On the plus side she did call in the full-time rep to ask for some direction. Apparently we were in a good position and I was told to give them both barrels. I was going to give them both barrels anyway since I had no intention of leaving that meeting without some direction of my not to distant future.

The actual meeting at 3.30 was a blur. I posed my questions calmly and allowed them to respond. But it didn’t matter what I asked, stated or otherwise. They had already made their decision before my rep and I had gone in.

“All things considered I’m afraid we will have to progress it to the next stage”

I felt sick.

All the barriers I had built up over the last six months to block out the pain, the derogatory remarks and everything else just crumbled. Everything after that statement I didn’t hear or more to the point, I knew they were trying to communicate but I just couldn’t process what they were saying. It was like listening to a foreign language. I started sweating and my heart raced…

I don’t remember how I got home. There’s just a blank after that meeting. I rang my mum and cried. I cried as if I had never cried before. And I couldn’t stop.

I made that decision I needed to make in the end. If this is the scenario that is going to be playing out, I am not going to push until I crack but I’m not going to let them sack me.

I will leave, there is no doubt of that, but given what I have been put though it will be wholly on my terms. Not there’s.

  1. Tammy says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know what you are going through. Been there done that.

  2. Tammy says:

    Just checking in on you… haven’t seen any posts from you in ages.. and just wanted to make sure you were doing ok. So.. are you doing ok?? Hope so.. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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